BEHAVIORS TO AVOID
TEN THINGS ELEGANT LADIES NEVER DO
The following may serve as behaviors elegant ladies do not engage in:
1. Do not speak carelessly
How one speaks tells a lot about the individual. Please speak with wisdom and if you don’t have anything to say then just keep quiet and listen. Choose your words very well. Words such as “Excuse me”, “Thank you” and “I am Sorry” amongst others should be used and really mean them when you say them. Do not interrupt when people are talking. Wait for others to finish making their point before you comment. Speak eloquently and thoughtfully. Keep your views until it is your turn to speak. Be abreast with the knowledge and information of people you are meeting so that you can contribute substantially to a conversation. Read a lot about everything not only your specialty. Be interesting to chat with because no one enjoys talking to a boring person.
2. Do not show disinterest in a person’s presence:
When you are in the presence of people in a conversation, it is very important to be present even if it is for a short period of time. Look them in the eyes and offer grace and attentiveness. Be articulate in your comments and be thoughtful about what you say to them. If the topic being discussed is not of interest to you, you can always excuse yourself than staying and not paying attention. Be kind with the choice of words to others. If you want to make a comment about someone behind their back, say something good. If you have a bad comment, go to the person in question and talk to them. Be classy about it.
3. Do not lose your cool in public:
It is so inelegant to go angry and start insults and cursing in public. Remember to breathe, take it all in and leave. You can scream when you are in private. Have boundaries and let people know what you cannot take. Gracefully stand against people who do not offer you the respect you deserve. Do not be aggressive, rather be gentle and feminine.
4. Not Loud:
I beseech you ladies, whether happy (overly excited) or trying to make a point. It is important to talk softly and be more feminine. Being loud has an aura of masculinity. It is really bad to shout on phone and scream at a person. It gives a very bad picture of the person you are and what you wish to reflect.
5. No whistling and cursing:
Keep it classy. The worst thing I have seen is some people put their hands in their mouth while whistling and that is extremely not elegant. It is quite disgusting for ladies to do that. Please stay elegant. No matter how you feel, the last thing to do is to curse. Do not curse, do not say anything bad when angry, allow yourself to cool and calm down before you talk. Do not be the lady that swears all the time. Your language is a reflection of your character. Do not swear or curse, because it is simply not classy.
6. No bad manners:
For instance when at dinner, you should not be talking while eating or food in the mouth. Do not put our elbows on the dinner table, no reaching for items because it is inappropriate. Ask for others to pass on the item to you. These are simple things we overlook but that do not speak well of us especially when we are invited to classy home. These are considered bad manners and bad dining etiquette. Learn your etiquette and actually use them when you are alone and in the midst of people. Etiquette is not only about eating. How you sit in public, your composure, and how you carry yourself should be gracefully admired.
7. Nervous fidgeting:
Some situations make us feel nervous and sometimes feel sick in the stomach and want to throw up. Please control your nerves. It is going to be alright. Keep telling yourself in your mind that “all is well” and you will be fine. Some nervousness causes us to express our actions that are not elegant at all. For instance; cracking the neck and head, fidgeting with your hair, fingers, picking your nose, and others. These are so bad especially when it is done in public where everyone is watching. Some people have become addicted to these actions and cannot control themselves. I would advise you to ask a friend or sibling to check on you frequently to call you out of these actions as soon as possible. With some addictions, there is the need for doctors’ interventions and I would advise the individual to do so in order to break free from these bad behaviors.
8. Do not be late:
Being late in general whether to functions or even in the office is rude. We all have days when we feel like, we want to sleep in, and by the time we realize the time has flown and we are late. We have to try to avoid lateness because it does not speak well of an elegant lady. Hence we need to practice waking up with an alarm either from our phone or clock. For me, I prefer to have my time 10 minutes ahead of the normal time in order to keep me on my toes to be on time. That’s a good technic to avoid being late.
9. Spending much time on the phone:
The use of phones has come to stay with us. It could be used for very beneficial things and at the same time could waste a lot of time. A lot of people cannot put down their phones and detach from them for a second which to me is very inelegant. The worst of it is in the presence of people where the conversation is ongoing and you will see people scrolling on social media on their phones. It is so disrespectful. So ladies, please do well to let go of your phones when there is a need for them. It is not pleasant to be playing on your phone while on a date with someone, if there is an emergency call, excuse yourself and receive it. However, I would advise you to totally switch off your phone to have full attention to your date. I would recommend spending much time with family and friends instead of your phones. Your phone will always be with you or you can always purchase a different one when it goes missing, however, when your beloved friends and family are taken away from you, you cannot have those moments back. So enjoy them while they are here with you because family and friends are not replaceable.
10. Never show lack of confidence:
Anna Bey, a woman I cherish so much once said, confidence is the main ingredient of being elegant and I totally agree with her. Instead of wearing the most expensive garment, shoes, bags, or jewelry in the room, it is better to wear confidence. Confidence exudes gracefulness, hence ladies do not lack confidence in everything they do. A person who lacks confidence can be seen in different ways, the way you speak, how you walk, sit, amongst others when you are alone or with people. These can easily give you away. Hence become a lady of grace, filled with confidence. However, mind you, confidence does not equal arrogance, confidence can be seen in humble people without being so out there and screaming “look at me, I have arrived”. Let us learn to do things right. And never lack confidence.
Note that it is not about what you have on but the life you lead in those clothes.
Thank you for reading!!!
Love,
Naomi
