SELF-LOVE
SELF-LOVE IS A MUST
Self-love is an amazing feeling of loving yourself without feeling guilty about being selfish or being self-indulging. Self-love is not self-absorbed or being narcissistic; but rather being able to be in touch with ourselves, our well-being, and our happiness. Love is one very amazing feeling that helps us to overcome all obstacles and accept who we are. You cannot truly love another person until you have fully accepted who you are and know how to love yourself. This piece, therefore, is going to give us some tips which will serve as a guide to achieving self-love and enjoying your life journey.
We must first admit that love is a better and easier feeling than hate. However, the question is “why do people hate?”. Love comes so easily and has a sense of feeling safe and secure. Most people including me think love is all about having others love us romantically or approve of us to validate our self-worth but I am telling you today, it has much more to do with internal acceptance. Other people loving you feels good but does it help you to achieve your self-worth?
Self-love is not INNATE: One thing I have grown to understand about self-love is that it is something that can be learned and not an innate thing. It is not only attributed to certain kinds of people or certain achievements. However, it is open to each person if we allow our hearts to embrace it. Some people have closed their hearts based on some events or occurrences (dysfunctional families, rape, broken marriages, cultural codes, misbelieves, etc.) that happened to them in the past, therefore they project it to the future. Sometimes, there is a wide void that the pain in the past had caused in our hearts. We might sometimes need help from specialists to bring our minds to a safe place, if that is what it will take, my dear, go for it. Regardless of these, there is the need to make a conscious effort to love yourself. If we let go of the painful past, we would realize that self-love is the most significant love experience in our lives we can have. Erase everything from the past that does not serve you and be grateful it brought you to a new beginning. I am not going to lie, it can be difficult and challenging “letting go and letting in” but the time is now to take a chance at self-love.
COMPARISON is a Menace: We are all different people with different appearances, lifestyle, behavior and personalities. Diversity is fun and very important and mind blowing. Hence I would advice we avoid comparing ourselves to others. We are from different backgrounds, homes, families, schools, community and a host of others and all these have somewhat impact on who we are. Therefore the way I will react to a certain situation may not be the same as how another person would therefore accept who you are and embrace it. As you compare yourself with others, your self-worth diminishes and gradually may dwindle away. Instead of comparing, use that energy to attract greater things in your life and enjoy who you are. We will talk about that later on in our blog on attracting greater things into our lives. Comparison is a canker that needs to be cut off in our lives before we can begin our journey of self-love.
Start a day with POSITIVE THOUGHTS: Positive thoughts are very amazing thoughts that ignite happiness in our hearts all day long. Every morning after praying and meditating on the word of God, one thing I love to do is to say some words of affirmations into my life. It is interesting how it works on my mind. Then after that, as I get ready to prepare for the day, I purposefully create a very happy day in my thoughts, and sometimes you hear me laugh out loud with no conversations. My mind keeps telling me “ You are who you think you are!!!” and that feeling is great. As I see myself and work throughout the day, life may happen. But I quickly try as much as possible to shift my mood to the positive side of things. I remember some friends came to me to ask why I always look happy although it is very stressful as a Ph.D. student. Most people look over-burdened and depressed with the program. And all I told them was, “I try as much as possible to be happy in every situation”. And yes, that is my secret. As you enjoy every second of your being, your self-love grows spontaneously and magically. See the good in everything and enjoy the process.
Recognize your EMOTIONS: For us to have control of ourselves and our minds, we must learn to recognize our feelings. Emotions are mostly controlled by how we feel and how we perceive things. By being abreast with it, we will be able to have control over it. It also goes deeper as to recognizing our spiritual needs and believing whatever it is will happen for your good. When this is established then other physical practices will help us to defocus our thoughts from negative thoughts. Our self-love will then be experienced through doing things such as physical exercises, meditation, self-care, or relaxation exercises. Do these activities and you will feel good and know how to manage your emotions.
Be KIND to yourself: I have many other points but I will end with this one. Be kind to yourself. People are too hard on themselves in that they always think the worst things about themselves and the worst events happening to them. If that is what you always focus your energy on and think of, then rest assured, it will appear in your life. So focus on positivity. People listen to what others think of them and this kills the love they have for themselves. It is about time to let go of all this negativity and step into loving who you are and accepting who God made you become. The world we are in is not perfect, hence we will not always have a perfect day, but tell yourself “it is okay, things are better in the future”. If you are struggling today, be more compassionate and loving to yourself and that will help grow your Self-love. Focus on developing yourself. Bit by bit and being consistent you will get there.
You are special. There are no two people in this world who are the same not even co-joined twins. Hence, you are unique. Your uniqueness makes you do things differently so don’t think less of who you are. We are all made in the likeness of God. You are a god in yourself and possess all attributes that God has put in you. You have the potential to create your own story and the people you want to be in the story so choose wisely. Practicing self-love will push us to limit our limiting beliefs and live a life that truly shines for others to see. Enjoy yourself.
Love,
Naomi.