A GUIDE TO ATTAINING AND MAINTAINING PEACE IN YOUR LIFE (PART 1)
One thing I've learned and come to firmly believe is that anything that disrupts your peace, whether it be physically or mentally, is expensive. Recovering from a fall out of peace requires a lot of work and self-awareness. We all yearn and strive for tranquility in our lives. Achieving a peaceful existence involves acquiring new skills every day hence it is a very important learning curve for some people. Personally, to get to where I am now, I had to take some of these steps on my own to grow and attain the peace I have now. However, through observing people and developing relationships with them, I have come to understand that certain experiences can seriously disrupt people's sense of calm hence I have included some points here I did not experience myself but some of you might be going through.
I want to make it clear that while I do not claim to be a therapist or psychologist in any way, shape, or form, I have learned these helpful tips from my parents and other elderly people in my community, as well as from my religious beliefs and personal experiences. I have about 10 points here but I will share five of them today and the other five on another blog. Let's begin these steps straight away without further ado.
1. DO NOT HOLD GRUDGES
Although it seems so simple, one of the hardest things to do is to let go of past wrongs. It's challenging to graciously forgive someone after they have wronged you and let it go. Some people believe that avoiding those who have wronged them is a form of punishment. However, as my mother once said, "drinking poison and expecting the other person to die" can only cause you to harm yourself or cause you to die within, which will disturb your tranquility. I have learned that while I am adept at cutting people out when they offend me, it is best to forgive them with grace, possibly avoid them, but never entirely cut them out.
I learned to do this because I can still recall a friend who did wrong returning years later to seek forgiveness from me. He/she still bore the weight, even though I knew in my heart that I had already forgiven him/her and had even told this person that I had forgiven them entirely years ago. Even when the incident happened, I made it clear I had forgiven him/her, but I believe he/she was still not sure because I cut them off. Until I came to the realization of that, I started talking to this person. We are not frequents or friends or anything but I pick their calls when they need my help. I don't like that this person had to go through that by carrying the burden, but that is how forgiveness and letting go look like. You get your peace of mind and let the other person come to the realization that you have more grace to give. In this case, I had done my part and prayed to God to forgive them as well. God commands us to extend forgiveness to others just as He has done for us (Matthew 6:14-16). It is important to seek God for strength to endure, forgive and let go of grudges.
2. NEGOTIATING YOUR OWN BOUNDARIES
This is a simple approach to jeopardize our sense of tranquility. This can be a very difficult step to take, especially with people pleasers. We sometimes establish our own boundaries and nevertheless manage to compromise inside ourselves to ignore them. This shows extreme disregard and disrespect for you as the person who established these boundaries. As you continue to do this, more people will start to disregard your boundaries as well.
Setting boundaries and upholding them provides you peace of mind because you are psychologically aware of what you can and cannot do, and you don't look for justifications to violate them. This closes any doors that could have been open for others to interfere with your peace of life.
3. BE CAREFUL WITH SOCIAL MEDIA
Social media has ingrained itself in our culture today, and depending on your decisions, you may either use it for your own benefit or negatively impact your harmony. When it comes to social media, extreme strategic thinking is required. I've learned to avoid mindlessly scrolling around social media when I'm not using it for anything. Since social media may actually deplete you and rob you of your serenity. Do this to keep you sane.
A further crucial point to remember is to exercise caution when selecting which pages to follow or subscribe to on any social media platform. Only follow those you know you want to become and those with whom you are in harmony or alignment. Delete the pages from your life that don't add anything worthwhile. You should also be aware that because everyone in this social circle appears to have it so easily, it is crucial to exercise judgment when choosing who to follow.
Finally, develop the habit of putting your phone down and, if necessary, taking breaks from these platforms. Your mental clarity is the most important consideration. I urge you to reclaim your time by concentrating on other worthwhile activities such as reading a book, engaging in real-world interactions, and exercising to advance your personal development. Due to the false sense of community that social media has engendered, we often respond negatively to other people's videos or photographs and assume that they have somehow mistreated us when in reality, they may not even know us. Your happiness and life are being taken in this way. Hence, do well to claim peace back into your life.
4. A DESIRE FOR THE BEST FOR THOSE AROUND YOU
We ought to seek the best for everyone. But, human nature constantly seeks to discredit others and can even harbor jealousy for their successes. You must learn to put everyone else's needs ahead of your own in order to get the peace you so desperately need. You should be aware of the people around you and wish the best for them. It is important to grow together with the people in your circle and leave no one behind.
It's crucial to go above and beyond if you can to assist others in achieving such heights. By doing this, you'll free up mental space for enjoying these people's successes alongside them rather than feeling envious of them. The only thing that may make you lose yourself is envy (Read Proverbs 14: 30). The Bible commands us to rejoice with those who are joyful and weep with those who are in pain, not the other way around. Let's follow this advice and maintain our peace.
5. SEEKING VALIDATION
I was raised in a family that always expressed gratitude and joy for our mere existence. I think that the fact that my siblings and I didn't have to accomplish anything noteworthy to be recognized had an effect on us as we grew up. Most people who struggle with self-acceptance want approval from others, including members of their family, friends, romantic partners, and even strangers, and when those expectations are not realized, they struggle to find inner peace.
You must vouch for yourself in order to maintain your sanity. Because everything we do, both within and outside of ourselves, is visible to others. Having an intense need for approval makes you appear unattractive and makes you want to drive people away. I once heard a wise person say, "If you live by people's acceptance, you will die by their rejection," and that statement holds true today just as much as it did back then. Stop looking to other people for validation in order to live in peace and harmony, and instead concentrate on your God given purpose for your existence in this world.
I would love to hear what you think about these tips and also what you do to keep your peace. Thanks for reading !!!!
XoXo,
Naomi.
